God Phishing

If Mano Paul is any good at his day job, he should know how to check the headers on his email from God. Here’s what I found when I looked at all my god-spam:

Received: from somerabbis.il ( by constantine.rome.it (; Fri, 11 Jan 325 14:45:21 +0100
Content-Type: multipart/hearsay;
X-Mailer: Nicaean Council Decreer 1.0
X-Complaints-To: nobody@notlistening.net
List-Unsubscribe: hahahyeahright@weproselytizeforever.org

I’m not sure why anyone should take such a chain letter seriously. It could hardly be less believable if it had come directly from Nigeria. Normally, it’s best not to respond to spammers since all it does is confirm that they’ve got a real address and it’ll just invite even more spam. However, in some cases they’re just going to keep spamming anyway so all you can do is try to fight back.

God’s promises of everlasting life are not unlike penis enlargement scams. “Here’s something you really want, all you have to do is give us a little bit of money and swallow these lies pills!” They appeal to the desperate and gullible. But obviously people keep buying, because the god-bothering spam keeps coming.

What is my response? Prove it, God. Prove that your magic penis enlargement scheme is going to give me everlasting life. You’re God, you should know what it would take to convince me, and it’s a hell of a lot more than a legion of deluded converts convinced by nothing more than fourth century chain mail; when I look around, all I see is a bunch of normal-sized dicks.


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